In February, a dear friend lost her son to suicide. In April, another lost his son. Today, on one of the blogs I read, a frequent poster talked about the grief he felt at losing his nephew, who left behind a wife and baby.
I think a lot about bipolar disorder. It's part of the fabric of my life. My father was a manic-depressive who hung himself as his brother had before him. I never knew my uncle, but I did know my cousin who struggled mightily with the disease. She left a husband. My uncle left seven children. My father left six and two ex-wives.
My mother ultimately could not navigate my father's madness. He checked into the VA hospital for an extended stay and they were divorced when he left many months later.
Once she admitted to me that she wished she had been stronger, or known more.
I would like to start this conversation on bipolar disorder and manic depression to act as a guide for those who find themselves living the manic life, without the benefit of being bipolar themselves. I would like to dedicate this effort to my lost father, uncle, cousin and my very present husband. It is possible to live a joyful, satisfying life full of possibility as well as lithium, Abilify and Remeron. In fact it is more than merely possible.
We'll talk about lying. We'll talk about sleep hygiene. We'll talk about medication and self medication. We'll talk about addiction, heredity, Kay Redfield Jamison and the artistic side of Manic Depression. We'll talk about early warning signs, bad behavior and an appropriate team of advisors and medpros.
We'll talk about what the medical profession misses when it delights in watching the bear dance. And we'll talk about how you have to keep yourself steady and in good health to make the grand trip. We'll look at the latest research, argue about labels and discuss what happens when the diagnosis comes, as it always comes, far too late.
And sometimes, we'll just remember the ones we've loved who, like moths pulled to the flame, circled the dark too closely and were consumed.
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so very RIGHT ON. And thank you for what I see already in this first post I've read, a humorous, heartfelt, serious take on living with, and more so loving people who often feel better than we do ... at least in mania, at least for a while. (little sad joke from 'one who knows and loves several people who suffer from this sometime chemical storm')
ReplyDeleteAs a helping professional too, I see often we are not alone in these times, the families and friends/ coworkers can suffer as much and differently than the person with the chemical 'swing' (some of my patients call the bodily feeling different things, that's one)
... and the black depressions are shared too in significant ways, seeming to jump like a field fire from one person to the next and next, and those who are in the whirl with people suffering or the person with 'the swing' who says Who me? I'm not suffering. I'm fine, what's wrong with you?... and with everyone being plunged and plunged, somehow reminding me of Dorés etchings of all the angels in a swirl so you cannot tell whether they are swarming to the light or falling away from it.
At least, we are together with each other, and though love cant heal everything, it can help a great deal... and I see you have oceans of that... and humanity. Thank you so much for your insights and wisdom... and love. You are married to a man who for all these years, I consider beloved brother. I am just so glad you are starting this blog... so needed by so many.
I'll look very forward to hearing what you have to say as our lifeong and daily eye-witness on this world. May Our Lady bless you continuously in every way.
Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Asst Editor and Columnist: newsblog Themoderatevoice. com
Thank you, Clarissa. What a lovely, thoughtful comment.
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